1st July 2009~

i dunno how long will i be interested in these guys.. maybe tomorrow, next week, next month or maybe next year i'll loose interest in them..

will i still remember all these cute/handsome guys that i've been drooling over since last year i wasn't mistaken. its a really long period of time for me to like someone/something. its quite amazing actually.

i noe, 1 day i'll look back at this entry & lmao as hard as i can. but hey, its worth remembering these "harmony" days of drooling and fancying guys which has about 1 million fans around the world.

i tried to find a way/something that helps me to hate the guys that i love. but i can't. the more i think bout the reasons, the more i'm attracted to them. urgh! i hate my heart but i dont hate myself. i love the fact that i keep myself busy with useless things during this holiday.

right now i'm listening to big bang - oh ma baby from their album always. i love this song. the title is exactly what i wanna say to the guy that i love right now. but unfortunately, i can't. he's WAYYYYYYYY out of reach for me right now. and most of all, i don't think i'll ever get him. not in this lifetime i think. but that makes me stronger and more mature in finding and choosing the guy which is suitable for me. Jae. Komawo for making me mature dear. i noe i need to take a plunge into reality now, but i can't forget him even if i try!

Ya Allah, plz help he to be strong and plz make me prepare to handle studies and being a good student, good daughter and most of all, a good Muslim! plz. help me to forget him Ya Allah. I want a natural and a realistic way of life. i don't to be stuck in a fantasy-gaga land-kinda life. i want my life to be perfect. i noe, perfect needs a lotta work! but i noe 1 day i'll succeed!

4th of july is coming up. hmm. i wonder who gonna wish me. sometimes, all it needs is just a little thought. as the saying goes, its the thought that counts. today, 1st of july is 1 of my bestfriend, azratee's birthday!! happy 22nd birthday dear! may u have a wonderful year ahead! and today also, 1st july 2009, my bestfriend, rizwana is coming back home from melbourne!! gosh i miss her so much!! welcome back riz!!